Thursday, March 19, 2009

Dear Winter...

You are dead to me.

Know why? It's the last day of your shitty season and there are only hours left!

Don't get me wrong, I know you are necessary in our climate and I try not to complain when you are gracing us with your presence. I do enjoy you, but only for a short time.

Ahh, spring is in the air, and I love it.

There's lots to do this season, and I'm looking forward to it.


Well, see you in about 8 months. Feel free to come a bit later.


(No more of this please.)

Friday, March 13, 2009

July


































I'm going for a drive to the lake.
Good night.

Dear friend,

You'll never read this.
You probably shouldn't.
You probably don't believe in this technology.
But you should know that the short time we spent together changed my life forever.
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
You would probably brush it off.
But maybe it would make your heart smile deep down inside.

You inspired me and continue to inspire me every day.
We don't talk much but that doesn't stop me of thinking about you and how you would view me.
Your opinion is still important to me.
You help keep me in check.
I wish that we could've spent more time together but things don't work out for a reason.
You make me push myself harder than anyone can.

It's always strange when you connect with certain people.
It's unexplainable.
But then again, that's life.
It's never to be known why it happens.
Chemistry?
You can study my brain for waves and my nerves for electrical impulses but it doesn't explain why the heart feels the way it does.
For this reason, you make me believe that we all have souls and exist not just in human form, but also in spirit.
I would give anything just to see you smile.
I would give everything just to hear your laughter.
Just to see that little sparkle, that little light flickering in your eyes.
I care about you even when I know I shouldn't.
I will continue to do so perhaps forever.

You were placed in my life to teach me spirituality, to recognize good and evil.
To experience friendship and quality versus quantity.
To help me realize that time passes quickly and to never let my inner child die.
When I look back to a short year ago, we found one another on a night like any other.
A year later, I now know what I want out of life.
To be lucky enough to meet someone like you ever again will be a great blessing.

There are some things that you have shown me and I view them as your mistakes.
From your shortcomings and unfortunate mishaps, I was able to learn not to follow that path.
I was seeking direction when I met you, and universe willing, I got it.
There are things I wish I could've done differently, but at the end of the day, if I am happy, I will take it with open arms and an open heart and keep smiling into tomorrow.

I look up to you, and I look up to very few.

It's theurapedic to write you a letter that you'll never receive.
It doesn't matter that you'll never read it.
It's out now, and everything I say is the truth.
I think sometimes you might be able to tell how much I care about you.
I think sometimes you might just care as equally back.

Thank you for your guidance.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for the direction.
Thank you for your advice.
Thank you for your criticism.
Thank you for your long phone calls.
Thank you for the adventures.
I'll never forget them.
Most of all, thank you for being you.



Love from your friend...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Breaker





Our bodies break



And the blood just spills and spills



But here we sit debating math








It's just a shame



My hand just kills and kills



There's gotta be an end to that









There's gotta be an end to that...





ZINE

Hey,

I'm thinking about starting a zine. I just read one that a girl made about being misrepresented and underestimated as a housewife. It was informative, a window into the soul; also neatly packaged up with cool fonts, expressive phrases and cute retro pictures. Although I have not been in a housewife-type position (yet), as a female in today's society, I can understand her plight.

I don't know what my zine would be about. Is following a theme a common thing in the zine world? Probably, mostly everything follows a theme of some sort. I have some ideas - I usually always have ideas. You'd probably agree if I told you about them. Or saw some sort of outcome from them. My problem is never acting on them. I think I might impulsively start a zine as an act of rebellion against my shitty lethargic habits. There. Maybe I found a reason.

Now what to write about...

The wheels keep grinding and turning.

P.S. - Tonight the monkey dies.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

SPEEDHAMMER


Poor girl is getting old...
I just drove my car this evening for the first time in a couple of months. No problems yet, just needs an oil change and to fix the speakers. The thing is, now that I know I can survive and be happy without it, I don't really miss it - driving or paying ridiculous amounts of money to crooked oil and insurance companies. I wasn't excited to drive it today, which is kind of a bummer. It's just gotta last me the summer now...

Someone kill me

I'm bored at night school.
Bored bored bored.
I finished my project, therefore I am sitting in the computer lab. Doing nothing.
I could be making pizza with my pals Ally, J.R. and Kyle.
But no. Here I sit.
Bored.
Waste of time.
I'm sick of staring at a computer screen.

On the up, I did get my car (a.k.a. shitbox, a.k.a. speedhammer) back on the road today. That's got its positives and negatives. My brakes squeal, rusty from sitting for a couple of months (don't worry, I won't die). It runs a tad rough, but it runs surprisindly better than I thought it would. This time I hafta be smarter about spending money on driving though. I'm tired of having nothing to my name and barely scraping by. Don't get me wrong, I really don't give a shit about money, but it would be nice to be able to pay my bills without worrying every month. I have that horrible habit of spending little amounts of money on nothing that add up to a lot at the end of the month. Food, entertainment, other regrettable items. My new goal is to not have buyer's remorse. That means not putting myself in situations where I spend above my means and then regret not having money for things I care about. That'll be a tough one. It seems like it makes no difference at the time, but when I go through my expenses, ooh boy, does it add up!

Oh and no more free rides fuckers. Get your mamma to drive you places if you don't wanna pay up.

I'll post pictures later.

Peace.

Monday, March 2, 2009

(That's How You Sing) Amazing Grace

I knew this girl when I was young
She took her spikes from everyone
One night she swallowed up the lake
That's how you sing Amazing Grace.

Amazing Grace
Amazing Grace

It sounds like razors in my ears
That bell's been ringing now for years
Someday I'll give all away
That's how you sing Amazing Grace.

Oh can you hear that sweet, sweet sound?
Yeah I was lost but now I'm found
Sometimes there's nothing left to say
That's how you sing Amazing Grace.

Amazing Grace
Amazing Grace
Amazing Grace
That's how you sing Amazing Grace.